finding fulfillment
one. say no to chicken fried steak at the santa anita race track.
two. do not eat at the santa anita race track.
a week ago today, i went to a family friend's birthday lunch at the santa anita race track with my brother, sister, brother-in-law and their kids. it was a good time and saw people i haven't seen in awhile.
however, on the way home, i got gradually exhausted. by the time i got home, i passed out on my bed and when i woke up, i headed straight to the toilet. face first. it wasn't pleasant. don't worry, i didn't really head down there, just figuratively.
sunday was another unpleasant day, as the toilet became my best friend. i brought along for the ride, EXCUSE ME, YOUR LIFE IS WAITING - a really great book by lynn grabhorn. i'm still on chapter 8 at the moment, but it really brightened my whole experience of food poisoning. i was trying to see the lighter and good side of being sick at home, when i wanted so bad to be out. it was good to be at home, for once.
in bed, i either slept or watched the food network. on superbowl sunday, there was a paula deen marathon. it was awesome. she's the southern food lady who cooks everything full fat with mayo and butter. (thank you, paula!). let's just say, i got to know paula quite well that sunday.
i decided to stay at home monday and tuesday and re-experienced the joys of daytime television. wow! i watched the following during the two days:
1. the price is right
2. starting over (an awesome life coaching show on nbc at noon!)
3. days of our lives
4. passions
5. ellen/oprah (i switched back and forth between the two shows)
later, i discovered SOAPNET on my television and realized that there was more to get excited over.
4pm - knots landing
5pm - beverly hills 90210 (the brenda years!)
6pm - melrose place
so besides all the television i watched, i actually had a few breakthroughs about my life during this whole experience. writing an e-mail to a coaching client of mine, i was writing back to her about what fulfills her in a job. asking her, what is it behind the job that makes you excited to go into work? the people? the environment? then i start thinking about what i value in a job?
not satisfied at all about my own 9-7pm job, writing to my client became a self-reflexive experience. i was thinking about own values - about what it is that i look for in a job. i realized that for me, it's about having a sense of freedom, independence, connection, and full self-expression. all important values for me. it doesn't matter if i got paid $60k (although that is nice), i still wouldn't be happy and fulfilled if my values aren't being met. so i asked myself - what jobs or what can i do that will fulfill these values? life-coaching (obviously), acting, performing, teaching, part-time work, and perhaps even temp jobs. i realized that the corporate environment just really isn't for me, especially in climbing up that ladder. it's just not my ladder to climb. not a bad/good thing, just isn't for me.
so i've decided to leave this marketing job that i just started in december, 2004. i'm glad i tried it out and gotten to a place where i can see clearly what i do want and what i don't want. if i never did this, i would never have known. i talked to my immediate supervisor, angelica, on friday and told her. she's asked me to think about it over the weekend and was absolutely supportive. she even suggested that we talk to our boss (a total biyatch!) about me working part-time, perhaps 3 days a week as a marketing coordinator or assistant. that works for me. low responsibility and commitment so i can focus on my own work and art will be great. i'm looking forward to the change and to seeing daylight again as i leave work.
so this adventure called life continues...
Sandeman Tawny Port: Aged 20 Years
Yesterday, with the other Directors, I was sequestered at my CIO's house working on a tactical plan and a communication plan. Afterwards we met our Regional VP for dinner at Hal's in Venice. Hal's is an interesting place - the food is pretty good even if the atmosphere can get it a little loud.
My dinner started off with a small ceaser salad - made with real anchovies and chunks of Parmigiano-Reggiano on top. Then I ordered the American Kobe Beef steak. Apparently this are US cows raised Kobe style where they massage the beef. This steak was cooked like a roast with the meat soft and tender then they grilled it with a semi-sweet apricot glaze. Yum. The group ordered two wines - a heavy Merlot and a lighter Pinot Noir to acompanny the dinner.
Once that was done, the entire group ordered Cranberry-Apple bread pudding that they only make once you order it. Drizzled with melted dark chocolate - perfect.
While waiting we ordred a bottle of Tawny Port - Sandeman, aged 20 years. It was fantastic. Tawny Ports are wines that are 'aged' by being a mix of other aged wines. This stuff must be one of the benchmarks - it was soft and light yet filled with depth - a fantastic heavy oak and cinnamin taste under the light sweet citrus notes in the wine.
To read more about port, here's a great article in from the SF Chronicle: "Hate to wait? Here's a vintage port that ready to drink now."
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
This weekend I took a little trip to Las Vegas. For the most part, I had a great time. I didn't exactly escape my problems, unfortunately, even double digits of Cap't & Coke doesn't stop my mind from sliding through the slick spirals and loops of concepts and people and issues that occupy the space between my neurons. Or maybe the issue is Pai Gow Poker.
Now, I don't know if any of you have played this game, but the best part about it is, you can play for a very long time and not lose too much money. (A supposed fact that I proved COMPLETELY wrong on Sunday before my flight back.) The downside is - lots of wait time. Now when you play Craps, or Blackjack, or even sit and the slot machine mesmorized by the spinning wheels and familiar and comforting sounds, you don't get to think - you avoid your life.
Saturday evening / Sunday morning, I decided to play Blackjack - and I was fine, blissfully playing along, playing recklessly with house money, digesting my wonderful steak dinner while sipping on Glenlivet. It was wonderful - my first true escape from my life.
After going up a few hundred dollars, then back down to my starting amount over a 4 hour period (Next time I'll get rated!) and being somewhat successful trying to hit on the cute girls next to me (were they cute - or was it the Glenlivet?) - I retired to my room, completely unaware of what I was running from.
What happens in Vegas might stay in Vegas, but for me - the escapism was enough.
teabagging
ever since the detox, i haven't had a drip of coffee - which means, i haven't had a drip of coffee in 2005. i realize that several cups a week has me breaking out in canker sores. yet another food allergy discovered, perhaps? one of my favorite things, i will not decline a rich and delicious cuppa joe, but i just have to moderate.
in the meantime, i've been having a field day trying different kinds of teas, and my favorites have been either green or white teas, with jasmine being in my top 5.
there's an amazing tea house in west hollywood called ELIXIR, with a nice and relaxing zen rock garden in the back. every time i go there, i usually get myself a pot of their jasmine pearls, which is one of the most fragrant and delicately delicious jasmine teas around. (fyi. i've recently found the pearls at a chinese herbal shop for much less.) anyhow, they were out of jasmine pearls so i decided to try the drum mountain mist, another green tea from china. i can't even describe this tea in words. it has an ethereal quality, with a slightly nutty and sweet finish.
i recently returned to the chinese herbal shop in monterey park, T.S. EMPORIUM (which is also in chinatown) to find some more interesting tea i can have in the morning. i found CLOUD & MIST premium green tea which is very similar to the one at elixir and just as good. i also found SUMMER JASMINE GREEN, which has become my favorite jasmine next to the pearls.
oh, another amazing thing is - i found empty teabags at little tokyo, so you can pack yr own teabags. i've been packing my own peony bai mudan white tea, summer jasmine, lungching dragon-well, dragon pearls, cloud & mist, and the drum mountain mist tea.
i will never look at tea bags the same way again.
Parking
So WTF is up with people's inability to park?
One badly parked car, affects the next parked car, and so on and the butterfly effect becomes true. An entire row of badly parked cars. Some might argue is the same as an entire row of well parked cars - but instead of all the cars being poorly parked but evenly spaced each of the cars are at their own unspecified weird angle, pinched in so that there is no choice but to bang your door when you get out, or, if you're really unlucky, next to a superlong truck so you have to negotiate backing out when you leave.
Now last I heard driving tests no longer include the skill of parallel parking. That's crazy to me. The gas pedal is more than an on-off switch. Driving a car is not simply go, stop. Have we gotten to the point where all drivers are required to be LESS skilled.
I might be one of the few people on earth with the god-given ability to manage the physical dimensions of the car I'm driving, while slowly negotiating my gas and break pedals, while steering the car into the allotted space. (I won't get into the rant about the SIZE of parking spots.) Nor am I above backing out of a space to try again.
Maybe what this all comes down to is how our society has become less considerate. And frankly, what this entire world could use is a little more consideration.
New Fashion Accessory for you Macintosh Lovers
Ok guys, ya'll have to check out this wacky Japanese stuff
Time
Time, time, time, see what’s become of me
While I looked around
For my possibilities
I was so hard to please
But look around, leaves are brown
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter
